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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BJzzNMv9Oo

I just want everything :( I don't want to do this again

Student Loans

Alright, 45 minutes before I sleep at 11pm to wake up at 7am for work.

I just calculated my estimated student loan. It came to $24,902 for 5 years of school, and that's without interest. I regret and I don't at the same time. That paid for my expenses over the years without a job. Again, I would redo this by staying in town with a job and end up with no loans. Nonetheless, the money went to good use. This paid for 2 international travel study that I would've never done if I had not gone to college, rent for 1 year, food for 5 years, sometimes it even lasted me til the summer and winter breaks, and at the end of this whole thing, a BACHELOR OF ARTS in Sociology degree. Yay.

I'm questioning if I want all those future breaks. I can work everyday. But again, I wanna get pay more, work closer, experiences toward my degree, what i'm good at, and a title.

the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

It frustrates me that I am behind my "life" timeline. So many things were supposed to happen. Like:
-graduate at 22 (I'm 23 now, and will officially graduate after I turn 24)
-get some awesome job that pays me more than high school days
-not just any job, a coordinator job!
-not just any coordinator job, my dream job!

And because I am behind, my salary/$$ is behind, which then affects the dreams of my car, house, family, children. If I could do this again, I would. I would've just stayed in town and stuck to a job. Now I'm behind. I wasn't able to find one during college because of my schedule. But now that I'm back home and doing online classes for my final semester, it's so easy. I could've done this for the past 5 years.

And because I feel like I am behind, I don't want to start. I feel like it'll always be too late. I feel like I'll never get there. But what I've learned over time is that all you've got is time. It does me nothing to whine for the next 2 years that I'm 2 years behind. At this point of my life, I need to stay positive. I need to keep moving (I really just wanna whine though). Just had to write this down, so my mind can rest and I can finally sleep without this.

I've also realized how heartless I've become. I just want to work, work, work.

...Which brings me to think about people who do not work. They seriously have too much time to shop, invest in shit, and do hospital visits. I've been doing full time and it made me realized how much I want to work for schools because I would like my summers, winters, and holidays off! I like doing random things/jobs during my free time. It's like a break. I like it. But with this full time job at the CU, it scares me because I will be there forever until I chose to end it. I don't wanna quit to get more vacation time or have to "request" off for only 1 week of vacation. I love having 3 whole months off and doing part time. I can do other things that I really want to.

Super random: I've been doing house searches and my family should move out! We should just get a house in Wausau because we are always there! Both my mom & I work on the west side of Wausau. My dad is constantly running errands over there. There are more restaurant choices there. I hate taking the highway to work and WalMart. Our house is way too big. It was a cool idea, but I don't like it anymore. When I buy a house in the future, I'm not going to get one as big, with less and flat lawn to mow. Do we seriously need all that backyard space? My family never goes in our backyard, and also because it's a hill. It's not flat to sit/hang.

Work Work Work

It's my second Saturday working at the credit union! I love working on my own and not have people watch me. Since I'm at work, I'll blog about my past jobs. They're always fun to talk about.

Pick N Save: When I turned 16, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life working. Actually, that mindset was when I was 12, but 16 was the age I could finally start. My mother has always worked soo hard to support our family of 12. I narrowed it down to PNS because I didn't want to work at a fast food restaurant. Plus, PNS paid just a little bit more for not as much labor. As a cashier/bagger, it wasn't that hard. I was young and it was just something to do and keep myself occupy. What I enjoyed most about that place was that it was 4 minutes from my house and weekly pay. I hated everything else: schedule, request time off, uniform, supervisors, and stupid warnings. I mean, why would you schedule all the Hmong workers on July 4th! We all go to Minnesota for the tournament. And not just that, they would deny anyone to take our hours. It was sooo intentional. The uniform was sooo disgusting. It was a heavy denim shirt that didn't fit well at all. I'm a size XS in most cases and this shirt was a size L to me. I looked so disgusting in it. Thank goodness I never took any photos with it on. The hours were horrible. Why do they schedule someone from 12-5. That's the whole day. I worked there for a year then I switched to Aqua Finance.

AFI: This was a really cool job. I think it helped me develop as a person. I never talked much because I never talked to begin with. As a dialer, the job required me to talk and this lead me to being a really good bleep when it comes to complaints, especially talking about policies and procedures. It helped me understand a lot about the other side of business; how things are done and why there are procedures, and how to follow it. What I liked about AFI was that I could do my homework, flexible hours, and pretty awesome supervisors. It was a really cool job and a new kind of responsibility. I would do it again.

Then I went off to college and held some pretty odd jobs! But they were interesting, which was what I was after. That's what I'm after in life; experimenting but never committing. And I feel like that has took an effect on my own personal life. I don't know what I want forever...and if I can stick to forever because I need variety...excitement...idk, adventure.

Hmong Association + Mt. Bay Bike Trail: This was the most awesome and cool summer ever! I worked, then soccer after, and watched movies on the weekend during my job at the bike trail. I wouldn't mind reliving this time of my life again! I spent so much time with my babies, they were a lot cuter and less naughty-er too. For some reason, I had enough money for all the adventures I had.

AFI again: Well, I couldn't find a place, so I resorted back to this.

UW-E + MSCR:

McNair

Marketstar: How cool is it to talk about computers???!! This was half my dream. TALK TALK TALK, and it was about something I knew (at least, I think I knew). And because I knew what I was talking about, it was soo easy to sell. Plus, it was the best pay ever. Again, no supervisors! Why can't that just be the life?!

And now I'm finally at Valley Communities. It feels like such a high school job but I gotta build a relationship of commitment somewhere. This should be a great start, decent pay + benefits. But I'm always telling myself that if I'm going to commit so many hours to some place, the pay has got to keep me there.

the beginning

...so I'll talk about the last purchase....es. Yes, plural. I mean, I am such a frugal spender to begin with, so I shouldn't feel so bad. But I do, and I will start now.

I spent $30 at Target on 3 maxi dresses. Yes, I am inlove with them...so it was a good deal and buy, but I'm only keeping $20 worth of it.

Then on Wednesday night, I spent $125 at Loft because I didn't want to pay the $9 flat fee, which is more than one of their shirts on sale. This was very necessary because I paid $30 for them at one time and with the clearance, they were $12 a piece! The good thing is, it was really $60 that I spent and I'm going to return the extra $55...which is going to end up costing me more gas than just paying $9 for what I really wanted. Oh wait, I can ship it back for a cheaper price. Yes, that'll solve all this fuss. Alright, so I only spent $90 on some clothes before I do major shopping cuts. Lets go over why I want to stop shopping.

1. I have enough of everything.
2. I wanna pay a car in cash with as much money as I can, so I won't have to take a loan. Or at least the loan will not be that much.
3. I hate doing laundry

Now's the fun stuff: why I want to save.
1. Buy a car
2. Buy a house (omg, I have so much to say about that)
3. Become a landlord. (Originally, this blog was going to be named "10yearplan" because I wanted to get that done in 10 years)